It’s that time of the year again. We’re rapidly approaching the final week of October and there are things that need to be discussed. I’m not talking about how to plan your Thanksgiving menu or decorate your home for the holidays. I’m not here to share advice on how to make the best sugar cookie or pour the perfect espresso martini. I’m here to discuss far more serious matters: Halloween candy.
Sure, my trick-or-treat days may be long behind me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my share of holiday candy every October. Once the Duane Reade and Rite Aid in my neighborhood fill their shelves with bags of assorted candies, I can’t help but grab one or two. After all, that’s a perk of being an adult. You don’t have to wait and see which treats the neighborhood elders drop in your pumpkin-shaped bucket—you can simply walk down the block and buy what you want.
So, without further ado, here is a completely objective (and perfect) ranking of the top 10 Halloween candies on the drugstore shelves.
10. Tootsie Rolls
These babies get a bad rap from candy fans who claim they’re too sticky or boring—but to me, they’re a quintessentially nostalgic candy. Right up there next to those foil-wrapped, strawberry-filled hard candies and the Dum-Dums lollipops that were always in waiting rooms. If a Tootsie Roll is in a nearby candy bowl, I’m grabbing it.
9. Sour Gummy Worms
Finding a small, individually wrapped package filled to the brim with sour gummy worms? That’s a top-tier Halloween-candy-bucket surprise. Julia, how is it only number nine then? Fantastic question. This is a serious, high-stakes, cut-throat candy ranking, and I have to be ruthless. Onto the next.
Despite the recent drama around Skittles, I can’t act like it isn’t a candy any kid would be stoked to find in their candy bucket. You know, taste the rainbow and all of that.
7. Caramel Apple Lollipops
If you don’t remember these neon green lollipops covered in hardened caramel, I feel bad for you. Sure, it took (what felt like) hours to eat just one—thanks to its ability to easily chip a tooth or rip out a filling—but once you got through the sticky and sweet caramel layer and hit that sour apple lollipop, it felt like you had just accomplished the greatest childhood feat.
6. Tootsie Pops
Another lolly worthy of recognition is the Tootsie Pop. I’m not sure if it’s thanks to the iconic branding—I’ll never forget that cartoon owl testing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop—or if I just love a hard candy with a chewy center, but I’ll never turn one down.
I shouldn’t have to explain this one. They’re reliable, even the worst flavor (sorry, yellow) is still good, and they’re individually wrapped, which is perfect for Halloween handouts.
When you go through your Halloween candy haul and find a Snickers—even a mini one—you know you got lucky. Great texture, great flavor—no complaints from me.
All of you Almond Joy and Mounds haters: I don’t want to hear it. How can you not love dark chocolate and coconut? If you disagree, you need to grow up.
2. Kit Kat
Light, crispy, perfectly sweet, and satisfying to snap in half. What else do I even need to say?
1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
This shouldn’t surprise anyone. You can’t go wrong with the PB cup in any form—mini, regular, big cup, pumpkin-shaped, or dipped in white chocolate to look like a ghost. They’re the ultimate candy to find in your Halloween bag. Is it unfortunate for anyone with a peanut allergy? Absolutely, and I genuinely send my condolences.
Honorable Mentions: Twix, Twizzlers, Hershey’s Bars (dark chocolate only), Sour Patch Watermelons, and M&Ms.
Candy I Never Want to See in a Halloween Bucket: Candy Corn, Circus Peanuts, Smarties, Mike & Ike’s, and Raisins/Raisinets.
How would you rank Halloween candies? Let us know in the comments below!