Even though our celebration of Valentine’s Day has passed, there are things we can do every day to show we love each other and care for one another; but it is a choice and it takes work…. especially because we are caring for our loved ones with special needs. That kind of caring 24/7 puts a lot of pressure on our marriage and sometimes it can feel like we’re just tossing left-overs at each other to keep our marriage afloat. It doesn’t have to be that way, so we have a list for you to consider, and even “check off” when you’ve had opportunity to talk and work through them:
- Be sure to talk about the big and small issues in life. Doing so shows you care. And if you can nip the small things then you’ll have less big issues!
- Keep doing little things for each other in word and deed even if you have some issues you’re working on. Don’t withhold good things from each other-ever.
- Wear yourself out blessing your spouse.
- Learn to compromise knowing you both need to work on things.
- Keep showing affection: hugs, a kiss on the cheek, holding hands.
- STOP purposely pushing each other’s hot buttons. If you know a trigger, or you can take time to figure out a trigger, then stop doing it so conversation doesn’t escalate to yelling and anger.
- Don’t keep score; don’t get even. (1 Peter 3:9) This is a relationship killer.
- Respond; don’t delay discussing little things. Don’t dismiss or deny things.
- Admit fault and own it; make it right.
- Show you are truly sorry for wrongs you’ve done by stopping them.
When we put each other first, we won’t feel like we’re getting left-overs. We feel well loved, cared for, honored, and adored. And who wouldn’t love that?
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey (order at www.cindiferrini.com). They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They spoke nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways for 20 years, authored *Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, Chris Brooks of “Equipped” and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at:
and via social media at:
Joe and Cindi have been married since 1979, have 3 grown children, grandchildren, and enjoy speaking together on topics of marriage, parenting (including special needs), leadership, and time and life management. They have written articles and blogs for Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, Family Matters, and others. Together they authored: Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course. Cindi has written time management and organizational materials as well. They LOVE what they GET to do….
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